Barry O’s Day Off

by E. Max Bonem, Esq.

Barrack Hussein Obama, lover of hoops, owner of Bo, and destroyer of individuals found to be even more elusive than the infamous Carmen Sandiego, was re-elected as POTUS last night in what turned out to be a surprisingly close election early on (while the division in both popular and electoral college votes between the two candidates slanted in Obama’s direction as the west coast started reporting in). For those of us who don’t know much about politics (including both members of this here Broeth Journey), it was a tense, nerve inducing, spectacle of holograms and David Gregory’s preposterous widow’s peak that guided us through the night.  Continue reading

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Get off your ass & go vote!

By E. Max Bonem, Esq.

Today, November 6th, 2012, The Bro Journey partook in a tradition as old as our nation itself. We completed one of the few consistent quadrennial tasks (others being the adjustment of one’s diet, a new found interest in some foreign sport, and the ritual purchasing of new underpants, if your name is Matt Jared) and did it with both pride and a heavy outpouring of joie de vivre (Sidenote – I once took an entire class on the French Revolution, something that I do not recommend to any senior during their last quarter/semester in college, but since then I am now incapable of looking at America’s political history without linking it to the monumental moves made by Robespierre & Danton, along with many others. Great job fellas. (Why do I feel like “Viva La Vida” should be playing all of a sudden?)).

Brobespierre himself.

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The Red Hot Ginger Power Rankings

By E. Max Bonem & (a projection of) Matthew W. I. Jared

P.G. Wodehouse once said, “Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.” I’m fairly certain that truer words have never been spoken and this claim is supported by a multitude of facts, including:

1. Gingers lack souls.

2. P.G. Wodehouse is incapable of fallacy solely based on the epic nature of his name.

3. See 1 & 2.

Red heads/gingers have popped up with increasing regularity over the years as their kind have become accepted by our society, much like that of Prince’s antics and goucho pants before them (those are still around, right?). However, as these hell raisers continue their rise to prominence, we must recognize their feats and exploit their weaknesses, which brings us to today’s examination of those in the ginger community both leading the way and playing caboose on this crazy train of crimson equality.

Ladies & Gents, I present to you The Bro Journey Red Hot Ginger Power Rankings (as imagined in my head, w/the assistance of the projected comments of Matt Jared (prepare for glory)). Note – you’ll notice that this an all-male grouping as I am defenseless against red headed women, much like James Joyce, who once claimed that “Redheaded women buck like goats.” Amen James. Second note – I did end up adding a female presence to sooth imagined Matt’s fury. Third note – most of these individuals are on my “dunzo list.” School.  Continue reading

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Are You Ready For Some Mustache!?

by E. Max Bonem, Esq.

Greetings minions and welcome to the the final countdown to the hairiest month of year (this is sort of up for debate, I’ve been living the hairiest year of my life, but yesterday I trimmed my face for the first time since mid-June and I feel super (sidenote – Matt asked me if I’d skinned a beaver and left its hide in our bathroom wastebasket this morning. Cohabitation at its finest.)). As many of you know, Movember is a month-long event in which us lads let our upper lips grow wild in order to raise money for prostate cancer research.

Not only is it a fun/joyous event, but for many, it is the only time that they’ll get to experience the joys/pains of living with a mustache. It’s a formative experience it is, what with the weird glances and the perpetual/insatiable desires of all who surround you to do nothing more than mount your face. True story. However, Movember is about WAY more than growing a mustache. The ‘stache is used as a symbol and a rallying cry, but what Movember is really about it raising research funding & awareness of a debilitating disease that WILL affect multiple men in your lives. It just so happens that we get to look silly/refine/Selleck-esque while doing good.

Mo on boys and one day, you too can be this 80s-epic.

In honor of our sacred month, Matthew & I have been working on a new site (aptly titled “The Bro Journey) that will be launched as soon as humanly possible (aka 11:59pm, October 31st) in order to celebrate and educate some-a-y’all on, what else, but all things MAN. As a lead up to the holiest of holies (cue my unveiling of the Ark of the Brovenant), I thought it was time to share with everyone the oddest email that Matt & I encountered last Movember from none other than John Elerick, editor on Tosh.O & co-creator of The Gentlemen’s Rant. John, who hails from somewhere near Cleveland, and I have never met (that’s right folks, there are people from Ohio who DON’T know each other. Can I get you a pop?), but based solely on where he was spawned onto this Earth, I loathe his very existence (oddly enough, I also find him very humorous).

Last Movember, we reached out to John to see if he would contribute a piece to our Movember coverage and, to our surprise, not only did he respond, but he crafted some memorable prose (I use that term VERY loosely here). Below is John’s response in full. Um, enjoy?

Nice Stache Cleveland.

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11 Months of Bro Journeying: What I’ve learned and what’s to come

Well well well, if isn’t The Bro Journey. Back in your internet faces again on a regular basis. Didn’t think it would ever happen again, eh? Well, I have a quick little quip for you savages… WE ARE F’ING HERE TO STAY. Well not totally, I locked Max outside on our balcony last night and haven’t let him back in yet. So we’re kind of back to normal form.

Anyway, I wanted to holler at you peeps because yesterday was kind of a big deal. It’s the 11 month anniversary of The Bro Journey. That’s right THESE two guys have had a blog for nearly an entire year and didn’t burn the internet to the ground. So with such a markedly big day in the history of the inter pipes, I thought I would pop in and update y’all on what the fuck is going on in my life and a few of the things I’ve learned from doing this thing we call The Bro Journey for 11 months.

Buckle your seat belts, folks, it’s time to enter #teambringit mode.

Look at that body glistening in the heat!!

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