A Dog’s Life

As we continue this week’s guest blog series, we embark on a journey with a different breed of contributor, a writer who is often times awoof, and breaks all the drools. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a loud round of apaws to our first non-human blogger, Moosejaw’s world famous Office Dog (@Office__Dog). After gaining a great bit of insight on life with a man from a woman’s perspective, we here at Team Tallsome wanted to get an idea of what it’s like being man’s best friend. Office Dog was able to take some time out of his busy day to give us the run down on all things donut, squirrel and poop related. You’re welcome. 

I usually show up to the office around 8 a.m. and immediately check the status of my water dish. If it’s empty, I’ll push it around on the floor with my face until someone fills it.  The music is usually really awful in the morning, so I whimper and howl until someone puts on Florence + the Machine. I love Florence + The Machine.

After the tunage is more to my liking, I start scoping out breakfast. Usually, it’s too early to find anything good in the trash, but I can usually pinch a tasty bagel off the desk of an unsuspecting colleague. Other days, there’s a chance I’ll come across a box full of unmonitored Krispy Kremes. Those are good days.

Then comes my exercise routine: wrestling with squeaky cheeseburger, chasing geese from the parking lot, and doing laps around the accounting office, followed by a well-deserved nap until lunch time. After lunch is a great time to check the trash for yogurt lids, pizza crusts, leftover pad thai, etc. I always have a back up stash of kibbles for when trash meals are scarce, but IMHO, the different shapes all taste the same. The dog food companies are fooling no one.

This may be considered a dull life to some, but I tend to fill that void with spontaneous activities like flirting with Cute Customer Service Girl, barking at squirrels, sunbathing in the nude, or taking a dump by the fax machine. And it’s at these times that the office is my oyster.

Love,
@Office_Dog

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