He Def. Stills Wants An X-Wing: A Lady’s Take On Man-Children

By Emily Zimbabwe (Zuwiala)

Prepare yourselves for a special treat folks, we got a designer to write a post for us! (This is secretly every ad person who has ever worked with art directors/designers’ dream: to make them do what they feel least comfortable doing, WRITING (insert sinister evil genius laugh here)) However, all jokes aside, we here at The Bro Journey are absolutely delighted to have Emily on board, even if she is pint-sized she devil with legs of steal and eyes that pierce the soul (at least that’s what my roommate tells me).

Yum indeed.

Please note that this piece was crafted during our Movember experience. It’s been a bro journey all in it’s own just getting this from the gal. Alas, enjoy minions! 

It Begins..:

First off, I’d like to say thanks for getting a chance to be part of such a great journey. I’ve been a fan of mustaches, personally nicknamed manstaches, long before the phenomenon began. I may not be an expert, but I would like to think I have a bit of experience with men (man, that sounded slutty).

You hairy minx you! Woof.

What I mean to say is growing up with three brothers, I feel they have successfully briefed me on how to be prepared for their gender. Farts aside, while men can continue to grow mustaches and wear bow ties until all of the hair on their head is silver fox gray, I think many can agree with my they never truly ever grow up.

Here’s what I’ve collected in evidence:

Item A: They never grow out of their toys.

My Pops likes to feed the birds in our family’s backyard. His liking grew so much so that our yard has now become a make-shift bird sanctuary with up to 20 bird feeders at any given time. While it’s pretty and all to have Cinderella’s buddies out there hanging on the trees, they’ve found themselves in a strong war against the everyday yard dweller… the squirrels. Those little buggers have tried to get in to almost every feeder he’s bought, even the self-proclaimed squirrel proof ones. From his years of solving problems with wit and true strength, Pops decides to purchase a slingshot to try and scare the squirrels. His intention was not to hurt the furry creatures, but simply to let them know that they need to know their role. Fast forward a year and now he owns an air soft rifle. Best part, my 16 year old cousin gave it to him.

They're organizing! (This is also for foreshadowing purposes)

Item B: Star Wars had a bigger impact on their lives than you think.

A cousin of mine, who at the time of the second round of Star Wars movies was about 25, seemed like a kid in a candy shop when the promotions for the movies began airing. So much so he searched far and wide to purchase the real-life light saber for his memorabilia collection. The same light saber that battled my then 12 year old brother the few nights following. Buying a light saber as a young professional, no big deal, naming your first born son Luke after Luke Skywalker… then maybe we have an issue.

This will undoubtedly lead to some complications.

Item C: The suit is their day costume.

I know most men like to wear a good suit every once in a while to really class up their act, but don’t be fooled by the other percentage. The flood of men you see at happy hour in suits sipping on whiskey are just wearing their day costume. As soon as those same men walk through their front door, the suit comes off and on goes the same comfy t-shirt from their roller hockey league in high school (named a completely politically and possibly racially offensive term) paired with their best paint stained gym shorts. But let’s not get too crazy, the socks stay on. The mid-calf dress socks complete the outfit. They clock in at their evening job on the couch reclined with a game controller in hand. I know I’m not the only one who has walked in on an adult man fighting with a child about World of Warcraft on Xbox Live.

So a reminder to the ladies that have chosen to spend their lives with some of the characters mentioned above, tools are just big boy toys, and no, they will never grow out of legos. While some of these things may not be true for all men, it is this child at heart attitude that makes them all so lovable… sometimes. So here’s to you guy boy semi-adult man, never grow old and more importantly always grow out your mustache.

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