Category Archives: Personal

11 Months of Bro Journeying: What I’ve learned and what’s to come

Well well well, if isn’t The Bro Journey. Back in your internet faces again on a regular basis. Didn’t think it would ever happen again, eh? Well, I have a quick little quip for you savages… WE ARE F’ING HERE TO STAY. Well not totally, I locked Max outside on our balcony last night and haven’t let him back in yet. So we’re kind of back to normal form.

Anyway, I wanted to holler at you peeps because yesterday was kind of a big deal. It’s the 11 month anniversary of The Bro Journey. That’s right THESE two guys have had a blog for nearly an entire year and didn’t burn the internet to the ground. So with such a markedly big day in the history of the inter pipes, I thought I would pop in and update y’all on what the fuck is going on in my life and a few of the things I’ve learned from doing this thing we call The Bro Journey for 11 months.

Buckle your seat belts, folks, it’s time to enter #teambringit mode.

Look at that body glistening in the heat!!

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Brake Even: Safety’s Place in Bike Culture

By E. Max Bonem

Draisienne, laufmaschine, dandy horse, penny-farthing, and velopicede – the bicycle has had many names since first being introduced by the (most epically) German Baron Karl von Drais in the early 1800s. Since then, the bicycle has served as an excellent way to efficiently get from point A to point B. Lighter than a horse (maybe not as important these days, unless you live in Texas), cheaper than a car, faster than walking, cooler than roller blading, and helping out the metabolism and cardiovascular health of its riders, the bike has become a staple of modern day society.

Just another day in Austin, TX.

On top of providing efficient transportation though, the bicycle allows humans to do something that we all (sometimes) secretly fiend for: the ability to go FAST. Just like most other feats of pace, when someone goes fast, there is always someone who thinks they can and wants to go faster. Much like velociraptors and chariots from times gone by, bike racing has etched its place into the global world of sports, with the highlight the Tour de France, the most well-known (and sadly tainted) bike race on Earth (Note: I’m not even going to touch the GINORMOUS YELLOW & BLACK ELEPHANT in the room here, that’s not what this post is about).

However, every four years the world puts aside its differences to celebrate/determine which country can perform certain tasks better than others, i.e. throwing a rock, running in a circle, paddling a boat (Note: I’m not even going to bother mentioning the Winter “Olympics.” Until they allow Curlers to drink tall boys (I’m thinking Molson as a sponsor) during matches or they up the ante for the Skeleton (that’s the head-first luge for you newbs out there) participants by requiring them to complete a Sudoku puzzle on their way down the shoot, I refuse to recognize it with any sort of merit), not to mention the level of fit-on-fit breedingthat occurs during that fateful two week stretch of bright spandex and freakishly defined thighs. Amongst the running and the throwing and the ping-ponging are two events that have had major impacts on casual cyclists everywhere, the road race and more importantly (as you’ll see), indoor Track riding.

Breaking News: The Olympics are Tron.

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Full Disclosure Friday: The Real Bro Journey, Part 2 – One Triathlon Down

Editor’s Note: This morning Matt & I awoke to the horrific news of the Colorado movie theater shooting. Although we tend to focus on the humorous side of things here on The Bro Journey, we want to extends our hearts and thoughts to those who were affected by this unbelievable tragedy. That being said, if you need to shift your mind to a slightly better place this morning/afternoon, you can read below about how my bike hates me.

On Friday May 11th, 2012, The Bro Journey made a declaration, or dare I say a proclamation, to the world that we would do the unthinkable or, at least improbable, by completing a sprint distance triathlon. Well friends, after a few minor setbacks (i.e. Matt’s ankle not healing in time to participate & my complete lack of swimming abilities), The Bro Journey did just that, albeit with a few more minor setbacks occurring mid-race, but more on that later.

Agreed Vladimir Putin, Agreed.

The Couples Tri is the fourth part of the Texas Tri Serieswith each race varying in size/classification. As for Couples though, the course included the following: an 800-meter (1/2 mile if you’re ‘Murican) swim, an 11.2-mile bike ride, and a 5K (3.2 mile) run. After riding the bike course a few times, it became the section of the race that I not only didn’t fear, but also the section that I expected to kick some ass on. After previous rides on the exact course, I was confident that I could finish it in less than 34 minutes, or just above a three-minute/mile pace.

Valid point young squire

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Living Beardless Vs. Living Grizzly

By E. Max Bonem, Esq.

As you might have heard, I was forced to perform one of my least favorite man-related tasks this past week by shaving off my beard.  To many (actually most for that matter), this seems like no big deal, especially to those who shave on a daily basis, but let me tell you, going from grizzled man of the urban wilderness to Mr. Sweet 16 is not something to be taken lightly.

Meet Hindu Yogi Guy. If you wikipedia “Beard,” he’s the first image to pop up.

I went more than five months without shaving my face completely (note – when I say “shave completely,” I don’t mean with a straight razor down to the skin. 1/8 of an inch is about as “clean” as I’ll go, meaning that for the first few days post-shave, I look as though I’ve been on a week long bender) and since accidentally taking a chunk out of my beard on Wednesday, I’ve felt lost, significantly more self-conscious, and frankly empty. As my dear ass-hat of a roommate explained upon seeing me beardless for the first time in our friendship, “Holy shit man! You look six years younger and 60 pounds heavier!” Thanks bud.

Yep, this guy judged me. Think about that.

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The Republic of Hip: An Ode to Austin

By E. Max Bonem, Esq.

Austin, TX (City Limits -790,390, Metro – 1,716,291) is many things. It’s the “Live Music Capital of the World.” It’s the largest city in America (14th) without a professional sports team (however, many would argue that the Longhorns football team could be considered a professional franchise all on it’s own (hook ‘em y’allz!)). It’s a complete anomaly in the Republic of Texas in that it celebrates all things kooky, off-center, liberal, hip (more on that later), and arts-related. It is a mecca for foodies, music snobs, outdoor enthusiasts, hippies, and hipsters alike and the city continues to rapidly expand as longtime residents and locals plead for the halting of development and new arrivals. You can see stickers/graffiti all over the place, pledging local allegiance with such messages as, “Keep Austin Weird,” “Don’t Move Here,” and (my personal favorite and one that is a legitimate concern as the city continues to grow at an exponential rate) “Don’t Dallas My Austin.”

That says it all.

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Happy Birthday to Max!

Today Max turns the ripe age of 24. Everyone please remind Max that importance of today is actually that Minnesota gained it’s independence from South Dakota on this day over 150 years ago. Or something like that. 

To honor Minnesota Independence Day, National Twilight Day and Eat Whatever You Want day, our pal Jen Burkey sent over a stunning .gif of Max and I from a few weeks ago. Please send this to everyone you know and wish my best pal, roommate and co-founder a happy f*cking birthday because he’s a damn good dude. And if you live in Austin come party with us tonight.