Category Archives: Pop Culture

The Red Hot Ginger Power Rankings

By E. Max Bonem & (a projection of) Matthew W. I. Jared

P.G. Wodehouse once said, “Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.” I’m fairly certain that truer words have never been spoken and this claim is supported by a multitude of facts, including:

1. Gingers lack souls.

2. P.G. Wodehouse is incapable of fallacy solely based on the epic nature of his name.

3. See 1 & 2.

Red heads/gingers have popped up with increasing regularity over the years as their kind have become accepted by our society, much like that of Prince’s antics and goucho pants before them (those are still around, right?). However, as these hell raisers continue their rise to prominence, we must recognize their feats and exploit their weaknesses, which brings us to today’s examination of those in the ginger community both leading the way and playing caboose on this crazy train of crimson equality.

Ladies & Gents, I present to you The Bro Journey Red Hot Ginger Power Rankings (as imagined in my head, w/the assistance of the projected comments of Matt Jared (prepare for glory)). Note – you’ll notice that this an all-male grouping as I am defenseless against red headed women, much like James Joyce, who once claimed that “Redheaded women buck like goats.” Amen James. Second note – I did end up adding a female presence to sooth imagined Matt’s fury. Third note – most of these individuals are on my “dunzo list.” School.  Continue reading

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The Dark Knight: I may or may not be wearing hockey pants

In preparation of the July 20th release of Christopher Nolan’s highly anticipated trilogy closer, The Dark Knight RisesThe Bro Journey is reviewing each of the previous six Batman films (in order) that have preceded it. We continue with 2008′s The Dark Knight.

We’ve all experienced the ups and downs of growing up (or getting old if you’re a cynic) and it doesn’t take a genius to say that it pretty much sucks. Not only do we loose our aesthetic appeal, but we have to deal with all the shitty things that happen to us and our loved ones along the way. Now in the comic book world, those feelings of darkness or fear and those horrible things that happen are exacerbated to the nth degree and no one comes out unscathed. In Gotham, you might as well buy some black eye liner and one of those shirts that have thumb holes because this place sucks. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is safe regardless of what Bruce, Alfie and God (Morgan Freeman (Lucius Fox)) do to protect us. So after five movies we have reached the pinnacle (so far) of life in Gotham and everything that you think could go wrong in fact does go wrong and gets worse.

I’m about to take y’all for a ride on The Dark Knight express where the only thing served is ice cold vengeance, scars and Xanax. I present to you, the conclusion in our 6 part series… The Dark Knight.

WHERE ARE THEY!!!

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Spelunking, Alfie, and the Tumbler: Batman Begins

In preparation of the July 20th release of Christopher Nolan’s highly anticipated trilogy closer, The Dark Knight RisesThe Bro Journey is reviewing each of the previous six Batman films (in order) that have preceded it. We continue with 2005’s Batman Begins.

In 2003, relatively unknown director Christopher Nolan (note- Memento, the film that really helped launch his career, can be seen all OVER the most recent Batman trilogy) finished a script to a new movie with the working title of Intimidation Game. Besides his co-writer, a few select producers, and the Warner Bros. execs who were forced to read said-script inside of a rented garage where the small unit was writing the script, along with working on early visuals for the new movie, NO ONE was permitted to see the script.

Really great foreshadowing.

Nolan had a vision for his Intimidation Game that was not to be shared. He foresaw a new take on a well-known story, one involving darkness, vengeance, and the lengths that human beings are willing to go to to keep a clean conscience. He also foresaw the lead in Intimidation Game as being played by an actor who up to this point was known for playing a crazed Wall Street trader and one of the original Newsies. Did I mention that when Nolan found his lead, the man had lost enough weight to pull off playing an insomniac factory worker whose ribs could be counted from a mile away? That dear readers is the origins story to the mother of all origins stories from the past decade. THIS is how Batman Begins came to be.

There are no words.

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Batman & Robin: The Ice Man Cometh!

In preparation of the July 20th release of Christopher Nolan’s highly anticipated trilogy closer, The Dark Knight RisesThe Bro Journey is reviewing each of the previous six Batman films (in order) that have preceded it. We continue with 1997’s Batman & Robin

Editor’s Note: We’re doing this to gear ourselves up for what might be the most insane theater experience we’ll ever have (outside of smoking Peyote and seeing Fantasia) and to catch you up so you don’t have to watch them all. So here it goes…

There are so many times in youth where we think to ourselves, “This is absolutely bat shit stupid. What are you adults doing?” Some of us have more experiences like that than others and they all take place in different settings, but we draw on those experiences as adults and they mold us into the people we are today. Throughout our formidable years we’ll always look at out elder counterparts and ask, “What the shit just happened? My tiny little mind can’t handle all of that, dude. That was just too f’ing intense.”

For me, Batman & Robin was the moment where I shat my pants, cried and asked for forgiveness when all the awesome of Batman, Robin, Alfred, Mr. Freeze, Bane, Poison Ivy, and Batgirl converged into ONE FREAKIN’ MOVIE!! Today’s review is a story of science, puns and close ups.

Gotham Puppies

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Guy Liner, Acrobats, and that one song by Seal: Batman Forever Revisited

In preparation of the July 20th release of Christopher Nolan’s highly anticipated trilogy closer, The Dark Knight RisesThe Bro Journey is reviewing each of the previous six Batman films (in order) that have preceded it. We continue with 1995Batman Forever.

Riddle me this, riddle me that, whose afraid of Val Kilmer’s bat-ass? Ten seconds into 1995’s “Fuck Tim Burton, let’s get this sexually-frustrated-yet-family-friendly merchandizing machine a’rollin” Batman Forever, Matt made the most insightful observation to ever grace the cinema world, “Holy shit, this is WAY more intense than the last two.”

An outtake from The Mask.

Although intense might not be the best word to describe Joel Schumacher’s first foray into Gotham (yes folks, he got another go with Batman & Robin, but just chill, we’ll get to that later), there are plenty of examples of the franchise taking some BIG jumps into the world of over-the-top BLOCKBUSTER-level of moviedom. MORE EXPLOSIONS. MORE BLACK LIGHTS. MORE BAT-VEHICLES. MORE CGI. MORE SEXUALIZATION OF THE BATSUIT (i.e. Nipples (George Clooney has officially been exonerated for what I always believe was his doing) and multi-second assshots).  However, above all else, it is the SO-FAR-INTO-LALALAND-THAT-THERE-IS-NO-COMING-BACK performances of Jim Carrey as The Riddler and Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face (along with one very special song, but more on that later) that really makes this third Batman installment memorable.

“Let’s just take this acid and then hop on screen! I hear that’s how Jack & Danny did it.”

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Batman Returns: A Review

In preparation of the July 20th release of Christopher Nolan’s highly anticipated trilogy closer, The Dark Knight RisesThe Bro Journey is reviewing each of the previous six Batman films (in order) that have preceded it. We continue with 1992’s Batman Returns.

Alright party people, it’s time to call out your inner vigilante, put on your mask, and make sure your nipples don’t show in your Bat Suit because I’m back!!  Today’s post is my return to blogging from after a small hiatus to be the best man in a wedding, laugh at Max for accidentally shaving off his beard, and search for Richard Branson’s vacation home, Necker Island (a post will accompany all of these adventures, don’t worry). I bring with me in my return to The Bro Journey the second installment in our review of ALL the previous Batman movies leading up to the epic release of The Dark Knight Rises on July 20. My assignment happens to be the movie that I have probably seen more than any other movie in my short time on Earth: Batman Returns. So without further ado, let’s call Alfred and get this party started.

Insert one of 300 sexual reference made by/to Catwoman during Batman Returns HERE.

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Have You Seen Molly: A Field Guide to Bonnaroo

By E. Max Bonem, Esq.

It’s that enchanting time of year again where hippies, hipsters, bros, deadheads, school teachers, students, fathers, daughters, and people from every imaginable walk of life descend upon the tiny town of Manchester, Tennessee (population 10,201) to partake in the music festival right of passage known as Bonnaroo (in which the city population expands to close to 100,000). In the ten years since Bonnaroo was first produced on a large farm an hour south of neighboring Nashville, which the company that organizes the festival has since purchased exclusively for the yearly festival, Bonnaroo has turned into a counter-culture event unlike anything seen on this side of Atlantic.

The most Bonnarooful portrait ever. Polaroid et al.

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