Brake Even: Safety’s Place in Bike Culture

By E. Max Bonem

Draisienne, laufmaschine, dandy horse, penny-farthing, and velopicede – the bicycle has had many names since first being introduced by the (most epically) German Baron Karl von Drais in the early 1800s. Since then, the bicycle has served as an excellent way to efficiently get from point A to point B. Lighter than a horse (maybe not as important these days, unless you live in Texas), cheaper than a car, faster than walking, cooler than roller blading, and helping out the metabolism and cardiovascular health of its riders, the bike has become a staple of modern day society.

Just another day in Austin, TX.

On top of providing efficient transportation though, the bicycle allows humans to do something that we all (sometimes) secretly fiend for: the ability to go FAST. Just like most other feats of pace, when someone goes fast, there is always someone who thinks they can and wants to go faster. Much like velociraptors and chariots from times gone by, bike racing has etched its place into the global world of sports, with the highlight the Tour de France, the most well-known (and sadly tainted) bike race on Earth (Note: I’m not even going to touch the GINORMOUS YELLOW & BLACK ELEPHANT in the room here, that’s not what this post is about).

However, every four years the world puts aside its differences to celebrate/determine which country can perform certain tasks better than others, i.e. throwing a rock, running in a circle, paddling a boat (Note: I’m not even going to bother mentioning the Winter “Olympics.” Until they allow Curlers to drink tall boys (I’m thinking Molson as a sponsor) during matches or they up the ante for the Skeleton (that’s the head-first luge for you newbs out there) participants by requiring them to complete a Sudoku puzzle on their way down the shoot, I refuse to recognize it with any sort of merit), not to mention the level of fit-on-fit breedingthat occurs during that fateful two week stretch of bright spandex and freakishly defined thighs. Amongst the running and the throwing and the ping-ponging are two events that have had major impacts on casual cyclists everywhere, the road race and more importantly (as you’ll see), indoor Track riding.

Breaking News: The Olympics are Tron.

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THE THIRD BARE NECESSITIES PODCAST IS HERE.

The newest podcast is here. We talk about food, sports injuries, KFC Buffet’s and Mars Curiosity. It might be the most intelligent conversation you listen to today. Here’s a picture of a man to keep your hunger satiated.

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Our second podcast is a thing that exists now

So here’s another podcast we did. It doesn’t suck. That’s pretty much all you need to know. Listen to this 1,000 times.

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Full Disclosure Friday: We have computers and we’re not afraid to use them

So today’s FDF is going to be a twee bit different, folks. The Bro Journey is pioneering a new technology to help y’all get tuned into what matters in life (our opinions). Instead of doing a regular review to end our Batman Series, we have released of our first podcast. We would LOVE it if you could throw in your headphones and give us a listen because we had a ton of fun doing this and hope to continue doing podcasts in the future. Don’t worry, we’ll always have freshly squeezed Bro Journey content in written form as well – we just want to diversify, knah mean?

To key you in on what happens in our “Pilot Episode,” we discuss The Dark Knight Rises A LOT, Max clicks his pen and I chortle quite a bit. We kind of ramble (and/or suck), but it’s our first go and we had a blast doing it. We hope you have a fun time listening, as well.

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Full Disclosure Friday: The Real Bro Journey, Part 2 – One Triathlon Down

Editor’s Note: This morning Matt & I awoke to the horrific news of the Colorado movie theater shooting. Although we tend to focus on the humorous side of things here on The Bro Journey, we want to extends our hearts and thoughts to those who were affected by this unbelievable tragedy. That being said, if you need to shift your mind to a slightly better place this morning/afternoon, you can read below about how my bike hates me.

On Friday May 11th, 2012, The Bro Journey made a declaration, or dare I say a proclamation, to the world that we would do the unthinkable or, at least improbable, by completing a sprint distance triathlon. Well friends, after a few minor setbacks (i.e. Matt’s ankle not healing in time to participate & my complete lack of swimming abilities), The Bro Journey did just that, albeit with a few more minor setbacks occurring mid-race, but more on that later.

Agreed Vladimir Putin, Agreed.

The Couples Tri is the fourth part of the Texas Tri Serieswith each race varying in size/classification. As for Couples though, the course included the following: an 800-meter (1/2 mile if you’re ‘Murican) swim, an 11.2-mile bike ride, and a 5K (3.2 mile) run. After riding the bike course a few times, it became the section of the race that I not only didn’t fear, but also the section that I expected to kick some ass on. After previous rides on the exact course, I was confident that I could finish it in less than 34 minutes, or just above a three-minute/mile pace.

Valid point young squire

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The Dark Knight: I may or may not be wearing hockey pants

In preparation of the July 20th release of Christopher Nolan’s highly anticipated trilogy closer, The Dark Knight RisesThe Bro Journey is reviewing each of the previous six Batman films (in order) that have preceded it. We continue with 2008′s The Dark Knight.

We’ve all experienced the ups and downs of growing up (or getting old if you’re a cynic) and it doesn’t take a genius to say that it pretty much sucks. Not only do we loose our aesthetic appeal, but we have to deal with all the shitty things that happen to us and our loved ones along the way. Now in the comic book world, those feelings of darkness or fear and those horrible things that happen are exacerbated to the nth degree and no one comes out unscathed. In Gotham, you might as well buy some black eye liner and one of those shirts that have thumb holes because this place sucks. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is safe regardless of what Bruce, Alfie and God (Morgan Freeman (Lucius Fox)) do to protect us. So after five movies we have reached the pinnacle (so far) of life in Gotham and everything that you think could go wrong in fact does go wrong and gets worse.

I’m about to take y’all for a ride on The Dark Knight express where the only thing served is ice cold vengeance, scars and Xanax. I present to you, the conclusion in our 6 part series… The Dark Knight.

WHERE ARE THEY!!!

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Spelunking, Alfie, and the Tumbler: Batman Begins

In preparation of the July 20th release of Christopher Nolan’s highly anticipated trilogy closer, The Dark Knight RisesThe Bro Journey is reviewing each of the previous six Batman films (in order) that have preceded it. We continue with 2005’s Batman Begins.

In 2003, relatively unknown director Christopher Nolan (note- Memento, the film that really helped launch his career, can be seen all OVER the most recent Batman trilogy) finished a script to a new movie with the working title of Intimidation Game. Besides his co-writer, a few select producers, and the Warner Bros. execs who were forced to read said-script inside of a rented garage where the small unit was writing the script, along with working on early visuals for the new movie, NO ONE was permitted to see the script.

Really great foreshadowing.

Nolan had a vision for his Intimidation Game that was not to be shared. He foresaw a new take on a well-known story, one involving darkness, vengeance, and the lengths that human beings are willing to go to to keep a clean conscience. He also foresaw the lead in Intimidation Game as being played by an actor who up to this point was known for playing a crazed Wall Street trader and one of the original Newsies. Did I mention that when Nolan found his lead, the man had lost enough weight to pull off playing an insomniac factory worker whose ribs could be counted from a mile away? That dear readers is the origins story to the mother of all origins stories from the past decade. THIS is how Batman Begins came to be.

There are no words.

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