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The Red Hot Ginger Power Rankings

By E. Max Bonem & (a projection of) Matthew W. I. Jared

P.G. Wodehouse once said, “Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.” I’m fairly certain that truer words have never been spoken and this claim is supported by a multitude of facts, including:

1. Gingers lack souls.

2. P.G. Wodehouse is incapable of fallacy solely based on the epic nature of his name.

3. See 1 & 2.

Red heads/gingers have popped up with increasing regularity over the years as their kind have become accepted by our society, much like that of Prince’s antics and goucho pants before them (those are still around, right?). However, as these hell raisers continue their rise to prominence, we must recognize their feats and exploit their weaknesses, which brings us to today’s examination of those in the ginger community both leading the way and playing caboose on this crazy train of crimson equality.

Ladies & Gents, I present to you The Bro Journey Red Hot Ginger Power Rankings (as imagined in my head, w/the assistance of the projected comments of Matt Jared (prepare for glory)). Note – you’ll notice that this an all-male grouping as I am defenseless against red headed women, much like James Joyce, who once claimed that “Redheaded women buck like goats.” Amen James. Second note – I did end up adding a female presence to sooth imagined Matt’s fury. Third note – most of these individuals are on my “dunzo list.” School.  Continue reading

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